She was so distressed that she could do nothing but pour herself into her work, trying not to think about it. She tried to be so productive that if anyone came to her with a sexual harassment complaint, she would be able to demonstrate her value to the company while at the same time being contrite and apologetic and deeply ashamed. Whereas in fact she had loved fucking April, and she really hurt bad inside at the thought that she might not be able to do it again. And April loved it too! she thought. Just ask her.But she couldn't go down to Investor Relations and grovel in front of everybody, and expose herself, both her lust and her vulnerability. She had to swallow and pretend nothing had happened. But it was hard not to want to kill Rhonda. Instead of the pity she had formerly felt, she began to feel glad that she had fucked Stephanie, and that Rhonda had watched the whole thing, especially Stephanie's jolting, extravagant orgasms. I caused those, Rhonda, not you, she thought. " He held up the book in his hand. The one thatcontained my second grade memories. "When a Hopper enters a body, theirexperiences replace that of the hosts. The person they were pushes theprevious owner's memories to the back."He returned the book to the shelf, shoving the pink one backward.Instantly, I could recall my own memories again. As well as those of Sasha.However, there was a heavily muted quality to hers. Dulled. As if they weresomething I'd seen in a movie or read in a book. If I thought about it, Icould have answered any question correctly.Zimmer gestured to the bookcase. "This is your mind as it is now. Thepoliceman's memories in the front, the schoolgirl's in the back. Of course,the pieces aren't completely separated. As I'm sure you have noticed fromtime to time. Mannerisms and such that would never belong to an adult male."I thought about all the Sasha things I'd done over the past two days.Changes in vocabulary, attitude, as well as little idiosyncrasies that onlya.
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